Is This The Worst Flirting Strategy Of All Time? Um, Basically

When you’re being negged, you might feel very unsure of yourself. Therefore, it is great to know in advance some ways that you can respond if you realize you’re being negged.

The simplest response is to ignore them and stop interacting with them, suggests de la Rosa. Wasting energy on trying to engage with someone who cannot respect you can be extremely draining.

If you feel that you’re able to, “you can directly confront the person and tell them you do not like the way they are talking to you,” he says. However, be aware that the person may then respond to your confrontation with more abusive behaviors, such as gaslighting. Additionally, de la Rosa emphasizes that it is never your responsibility to change a person’s abusive behavior, but you can absolutely make it clear to them that what they’re doing is not OK.

If you think there’s a chance that the person might be able to take it in properly, then you can try saying something like, “When you make a comment like that, it makes me feel both angry and hurt—angry because I know you are trying to make me feel bad, and hurt because, even though I know your motive, your words are still impactful,” suggests licensed therapist John Mathews, LCSW.