Worse Than Ghosting: How To Know If You’ve Been “Zombied” While Dating

According to Jaime Zuckerman, Psy.D., LCP, zombies fall into two main categories: those who have insight and awareness, and those who don’t.

The insightful, self-aware zombie was likely no longer interested but uncomfortable communicating the issue, she says, so they avoided the discussion by ghosting. Over time, the zombie may have felt guilty about how they left things and wished to apologize. They may have also realized they care about the person or are more ready for commitment than before. In every scenario, the self-aware zombie is mindful of the hurt and confusion they caused, is contrite, and aims to make amends.

The less considerate zombie operates with more callous motivation. “They do not identify their behavior as hurtful or confusing, either because they have limited awareness into the impact of their behaviors on others or they simply just don’t care,” Zuckerman explains. She says these zombies may return because they’re bored, lonely, or want to see if they still have access to the ghosted person.

Relationship coach Kingsley Moyo adds that the victim could’ve been a “meanwhile” person whose role was to be a distraction from a different love interest. If that someone comes around, the ghost drops the temporary partner—and if things fail, they come back. They don’t feel they owe an explanation because they were never invested in the relationship.