Why This One Mindfulness Expert Wants You To Stop Labeling Your Kids

“It’s important that we give kids the tools for empowerment, for knowing themselves, where they come from, and going beyond the labels,” says Chopra, whose newest children’s book Just Be You (a third in the series of Just Breathe and Just Feel) launched this month. 

Kids need to learn this for the same reasons adults do: It’s easy to get caught up in the demands of modern life, and to start viewing ourselves through lenses that may not color the whole picture. “Kids are growing up in such a high stress and demand environment. We should teach them ways to take it back to the basics of figuring out who they are,” she says. “It’s structured about four questions: Who am I, what do I want, how can I serve, and what am I grateful for?”

Big questions, for certain. But asking them allows for a different sort of conversation with kids—one flooded with possibilities and growth: “When we encourage them to ask these questions, and think about what they like—moving away from ‘strengths’ and ‘weaknesses,’ and making it more about the journey of building skills and connecting to others,” says Chopra.  

It’s also important to recognize the roles we play in this journey: “From early on, parents, adults, teachers, mentors, start labeling kids right away—much earlier than we think. And labels that other people put on them: She’s the responsible bit sister, a piano player, tennis player, A-student. These are all labels kids are given,” she says. “So the first thing we need to do is to remind kids that they are more than the labels they have. Kids are, on one hand, resilient. But they can also get stuck in the labels they are defining for them.” 

And while you’re at it, perhaps stop and think about how you can ask these questions of yourself: “It’s a good lesson for adults too—you’re more than your labels,” she reminds us.  

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