Conception for Sex Can Feel Like a Chore — Here’s How to Keep It Fun

Struggling to keep the romance alive? Get creative. If there’s something you’ve wanted to try but were hesitant to—lingerie, new positions, even different lighting—Goldberg says now’s the perfect time to add it to your routine, as long as both partners are excited about it. “Sex for conception has this added layer of work to it, so it’s important to infuse it with creativity and things that take it up a notch,” she says.

And don’t be embarrassed to bring up your fantasies to your partner. Goldberg says couples tend to make assumptions about what their partner is or isn’t into, without taking into account that people’s sexual desires change. For example, one thing may have been off-limits five years ago, but now your partner could be more open. 

One of Goldberg’s favorite ways to help her clients spice things up is having them write a “yes/no/maybe” list—essentially, a list of sexual experiences you would and wouldn’t try (and the ones you’re on the fence about). You’ll learn more about your partner in the process—and you’ll have some menu options when you need some inspiration in the moment.